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When victims are able to speak

One of the major difficulties of working on awareness and prevention of child abuse are the limitations, if not impossible for victims to tell their story, to tell it loud and clear, not only their families, but the entire society. Besides the difficulty to make them heard and believed with the same reliability that hears and believes adult victims.

Without going into the problems associated with the reliability of the testimony, of which we have been echoed repeatedly in CI Spirals, Today we reflect on a story so shocking and real. The children of a deceased woman in a newspaper published an obituary for his mother in which all the abuse they have violated them during their lifetime, express the peace that his death means for them because they guarantee an end to his nightmare and require the need for victims to finally speak up and not remain silent over. The newspaper, as you can see in the news, newspaper withdrew the letter and stated that an investigation would publication.

More details you can read the news in the Terra this article and this article The Confidential.

This is a story that chills. For the pain and suffering that hides, for how and when the children have chosen to speak, for their strong words… for many things. But we believe that there are several aspects that should stop and think for a moment:

1. Memory and justice are two essential elements in the process of reconstruction of the life and soul after having suffered any form of abuse. Children victims of abuse need both. Being able to talk and tell what happened, do not forget, not to refuse. And Justice, not only in the legal, but in the social and family. Their families recognize abuse and they make visible to them as victims. Not because they are just that, they are much more than that, but to honor their pain and suffering. Naming the abuse does not involve reducing children victims but to honor their pain and their courage to confront. That family and social justice comes from the recognition that aggression, the damage inflicted by the aggressor and pain experienced by the victims can not give society the law but, and in particular the family and the community they live both victims and aggressors.

2. Any victim feels anger, besides fear, pain, helplessness and guilt, and is a legitimate anger. That anger hides enormous suffering, and anger allowed him out. But the anger is socially censured. It is often considered “out of place” the “inadequate”. These children who write the obituary of his mother, socially censorship are aloud to express experiences that anyone would be painful and destructive. They are what they say censorship, but also how and when they choose to do, you certainly are chosen also from rabies. Y is important to legitimize this rage. The stories of the victims are going to be full of rage and pain and the only way they can heal your sadness, not forget that pain and anger, but get them, live them and feel recognized beyond the pain. Only in that recognition, only when their environment that they can never understand nor want to forget, Only then can you reach acceptance and inner peace. And from that peace rebuild their lives.

3. And from all this is the time to emphasize that the associations that have been built up in recent years in our country of adults who were victims of abuse and / or abuse in childhood play a key role in raising awareness and abuse prevention . Not talking about all associations, foundations, institutions and organizations working on the issue of child abuse, in its prevention, detection and treatment, that many more, but specifically from those arising as associations of adults who were victims of abuse and / or abuse in childhood. They are forums where people who have had similar experiences can feel understood, recognized and legitimized. Forums that can speak for the voiceless. Forums that may require the company not return to this problem in sight. Groups of people who can help others know the pain they know or improve their way to intervene and act on it. These associations legitimize the pain and memory of those who could not speak. And suppose a rest and a future for those who must find their way to that inner peace. His work has become an essential element of the work of child abuse prevention, professional work that we can not substitute, only support and thank. Associations, inter, as:

These and other associations that may exist and perhaps they do not have direct knowledge. Well this post as a tribute to those who work in CI Spirals, not only people who speak out and tell their story as do the protagonists of this story, but to all the people who have created these forums or associations. All our humbled and grateful tribute to their courage.

Joe, Javier, Lucy and David


Pingback the Pepa Horno Blog » When victims are able to speak (2)
16 September, 2013

[…] the need for child victims of abuse speak. You can read the entire post here and I copied a part of what I wrote. Dice […]

Comment the Pepa Horno – CI Spirals
16 September, 2013

I echo a post that has gotten me through my twiter account, and add to the list of World of ASI, association present in Barcelona, Your website is

Comment the patricia
17 September, 2013

Un relato impresionante, que nos despierta a un mundo real que muchas veces no somos capaces de ver. Thanks.

Comment the Nemesis
18 September, 2013

I am also a victim of abuse in my childhood, And of course talk is the key to our recovery. I would add to your list of associations, mutual aid forum online in which I participate and it helps me, because in the town where I live there is no association “physics” ASI specializes in the topic.
Registration is required but the anonymity and discretion are guaranteed.
Thanks for the article.

Comment the F Javier Romeo – CI Spirals
18 September, 2013

Thanks for your comment, Patricia, we are glad to read that you showed one aspect of this complex world we live in.

Comment the F Javier Romeo – CI Spirals
18 September, 2013

Thanks for the link and the idea of ​​mutual help forum online, Nemesis. We hope you have people who can use it through the link you provided much encouragement and wish you on your way.

Pingback the Spiral Consulting Children » Testimonies of hope
20 December, 2016

[…] and CI Espirales time since we raised the need to constitute a powerful lobby with associations of adults who were childhood victims of various forms of sexual abuse inf…. Only his testimony and advocacy organized, supported the work of the […]

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