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Label: affectivity

Affective-sexual education guide for adolescents “Dare to feel, dare to take care and take care of yourself” prepared by Itziar Fernández and Pepa Horno for the Burgos City Council

Since CI Spirals, we understand affective-sexual education as a human right of children, and adolescents; but also, as a preventive factor that contributes to promoting healthy physical and mental development from an early age.

Our body is a source of communication, affection, tenderness and pleasure. We are sexed beings and sexuality is a dimension of the human being from birth to death, there is enormous variability in the ways of living it, to express it, in the ways of being and relating.

There are many reports and investigations that have been warning of the problems associated with the consumption of pornography from an early age and its relationship with the perpetuation of gender violence in young couples and the increase in sexual violence both within and outside the couple.

When these and these teens have been asked, They report that they turn to the internet and their friends to solve all their doubts related to sexuality; and complain that school educational programs are fundamentally focused on the prevention of sexually transmitted diseases, something that is necessary, but insufficient to understand the wide range of elements that make up a healthy affective-sexual and couple relationship.

And they are right: From educational contexts we have been addressing affective-sexual education treating different topics as if they were watertight compartments: we talk about stereotypes, gender violence, affective-sexual diversity, prevention of sexually transmitted diseases, leaving aside very important aspects.

The first part of your own denomination: education AFFECTIVE-sexual and everything that has to do with desire, eroticism and pleasure. With the arrival of adolescence, desire and sexual attraction are gaining ground. Body and hormonal changes are imposed and can generate a lot of uncertainty and insecurity. This can affect our self-esteem, and a fundamental step to be able to live our affective relationships in a safe and pleasant way is to feel good inside our own body. Pleasure is in the mind, and this is about loving and accepting us first.

The culture of the image and the bombardment of differential stereotypes for boys and girls through the networks does not help at all, quite the opposite, transmits an image of a "unique model" where they must fit in to feel accepted.

On the other hand, the way we express or live our sexuality is unique and personal. Diversity is part of human nature and there are as many ways of feeling and living as people on the planet. Questions arise like: “How is my body?”, “Who I am?”, “Who attracts me?”, “How do I show myself to the world?”. Approach diversity with respect for individuality, assuming a social responsibility to stop machismo, lgtbiphobia and transphobia will allow us to contribute to the establishment of more egalitarian relationships and to the fact that adolescence can be experienced with greater freedom.

Starting from this base, we want boys and girls to be able to clearly differentiate what an affective relationship is (you, free, safe and reciprocal) of a harmful relationship where we can fall into abusive models. That is why we have to talk about respect and care. Since CI Spirals today we spread the Affective-sexual education guide: Dare to feel, dare to take care and watch over you we have prepared Itziar Fernández Cortés and Pepa Horno Goicoechea for him Burgos City Council with illustrations of Patricia corrales, and that addresses affective-sexual education from this perspective, uniting the affectivity, sexuality and protection. We have written it in a direct and simple language so that it can be read directly by adolescents between 13 and 18 years, with some relevant information also for families.

We hope that your pages can be a material where adolescents find an answer to their curiosity., calling things by name, and highlighting the indivisible union between sexuality, affection, placer, respect and intimacy.

Itziar Fernandez and Pepa Horno

Book “Putting soul to pain. Therapeutic intervention with children, girls and adolescents victims of child sexual abuse” coordinated by Pepa Horno

Portada del libro "Poniendo alma al dolor"Technical supervision is a unique learning space, not only for those who receive it but for those who supervise. In recent years since CI Spirals We have the privilege of supervising teams of professionals from different areas of the protection system. The objective is to improve the quality of the intervention from the professional's awareness process. A space in which cases are discussed, but above all from the internal experience of each professional and as a team.

In these spaces we meet incredible professionals. Professionals with a great technical background, but above all with an inestimable human quality and a commitment to the pain of the people they serve difficult to match. This is the case of Elena González, Carolina Moniño and Carmen Ruiz, psychologists of the UTASI, The Therapeutic Unit for Child Sexual Abuse who created the Directorate General of Children, Youth and Families of the Government of the Balearic Islands to take care of the children, girls and adolescents victims of sexual abuse and with protective families.

Within the framework of this supervision, the project for this book arose, Putting soul to pain. Therapeutic intervention with children, girls and adolescents victims of child sexual abuse, which has just been published by the editorial Desclée De Brouwer. Again we thank the editorial Desclée De Brouwer its commitment to the publication and dissemination of works aimed at improving technical interventions from psychology.

In recent years, many publications on child sexual abuse have been developed in our country. But very few describe the therapeutic process for caring for children, girls and adolescents victims of sexual abuse. We are not referring to a technical manual on areas to address or understanding abuse, but to a detailed description of HOW to approach it. A description of the process that is followed in the consultation from the first day the child arrives, girl or adolescent until closing session. With enough detail to allow it to be replicated by other professionals in various contexts. Professionals who work, being or not aware of it, with children, girls and adolescents victims of child sexual abuse. For this reason, from CI Spirals we recommend reading it to all professionals who work in the protection system, but not only, also to any therapist who works with children, and adolescents.

Putting soul to pain also has a second value, and it is the bet that its authors made to give soul and voice to that story. And it could not be another voice than that of children, girls and adolescents who went through treatment at the time and their families. Because his voice is the only one that can convey his courage, their capacity for resilience and their therapeutic process.

Child sexual abuse does not have to be a conviction, and the stories in this book prove it. It does not imply a sentence if the appropriate therapeutic help and accompaniment is received, in which affective warmth is understood as a condition for technical rigor. Nor is it a condemnation if you have a solid emotional support network, which is another factor that is talked about a lot in this book: the role of the support network beyond families. The stories in its pages give this book congruence and consistency.

For me it has been a privilege to coordinate and participate in the development of this book, as well as for Javier Romeo carry out the first technical review of your content. We believe that it is a necessary book and had to be written by active professionals, with the legitimacy of years of experience watching children, girls and adolescents victims of child sexual abuse. And with the soul that only three professionals like them could give their pages.

As I wrote in the prologue, “This book keeps the horror and wonder of which the human being is capable. Y, especially, the light that arises from the darkness when professional rigor is united, honesty and human warmth”. We trust that you will receive the welcome you deserve.

Pepa Horno

Happy 2021

It's time to learn to live in the open. With the sun, the air and the sea like caresses. It's time to go back to hugs: those of soul always, physicists when possible.

Since CI Spirals we want to thank you for not letting go of our hand in these strange times and we wish you the love and awareness necessary to live them.

Joe, Javier and Spirals equipment CI

Conscious coffee: online presentation of the book “Metaphors for consciousness” by Pepa Horno on 14 December 2020

Conscious coffee: an online book presentation event Metaphors for consciousness by its author, Pepa Horno Goicoechea, and his illustrator, that Zaida escobar (see Zaida Escobar's account on Instagram), in moderation of F. Javier Romeo, organized from Spiral Consulting Children in collaboration with the Editorial Desclée De Brouwer.

Date: Monday 14 December 2020, the 15:00 a 16:00 (Madrid / Mallorca time).

Place: online activity.

The event will be held through the Zoom platform.

[Original Entry 02 December 2020, updated 14 December 2020, date of the event].

“Metaphors for consciousness”, new book by Pepa Horno and presentation video

Every new book is a gift, the end of a project that lasts many months. Like a dream that, taking shape, becomes real. Today I am lucky to be able to introduce you Metaphors for consciousness, book me number 13. It's a good number to make a spiral. Because this book is mine like the previous ones, but at the same time it's different.

Metaphors for consciousness collects the images that I use the most in training and therapy. They are images that I shaped throughout my professional career, in an attempt to give “lifetime” and make the technical concepts of psychology understandable. This book is a good example that it is the way of doing things that marks the effectiveness of what we do as professionals. It is not so much the “what”. It is mostly the “how come”. This book contains many hours searching “how come” accurate.

They are metaphors that I have been able to verify over the years that help people to make their “building” interior (preview of one of the metaphors), to bring awareness to their life story and understand how they have come to be who they are. Pictures that help them see their “boy” the “girl” interior, to take care of it, pet or cradle him.

How I write on the back cover:

“This book is written for anyone who wants to ask questions, look in, raise awareness. The consciousness that allows us to understand our personal history and, From there, be free and have peace. That peace that comes when we can understand and order. When can we let go. When we can honor”. (Download the presentation brochure).

It is not a technical book, but yes it is. It is not a poetic book, but so is. It is narration and illustration with the wonderful images that Zaida escobar (see Zaida Escobar's account on Instagram) has created for each of the metaphors, of the texts. Each metaphor is narrated in two languages: a poetic one that anyone can read and with hardly any technical terms; and other, the visual and soul, through the illustrations that accompany each text and give it life and depth. Thanks from my heart, Zaida, for giving these pages another life.

Thanks also to the publisher Desclée De Brouwer that, again, bet again for my work.

I really believe that this book deserves to be gifted. That's why i wrote it. So that those images reach beyond my query, of my lectures… even all those who want to use them to look inside or to accompany others in that process of conscious gazing.

I just hope you like it, that excites you like me, serve them. Whatever is, it will be OK.

Pepa Horno

Upgrading to 23 December 2020

The book presentation video is now available at the online event “Conscious coffee” made by videoconference with the participation of Pepa Horno, author of, and Zaida escobar (see Zaida Escobar's account on Instagram), the illustrator. In the presentation two metaphors are read and the symbolism of the illustrations and their elaboration process are explained, and there is conversation through participation in the chat.

“Emotional intelligence in the face of the pandemic”, presentation by Pepa Horno at the International Congress of Children in Mexico

Exhibition “Emotional intelligence in the face of the pandemic” provided by Pepa Horno Goicoechea under the “International Children's Congress: parenting and pandemic” organized by the Mexican Network of Child Friendly Cities.

Date: Friday 6 November 2020, 12:00 of Zapopán, Jalisco, Mexico (19:00 from Palma de Mallorca, Spain) [see other time zones here].

Place: online.

More information and registration:

[Original Entry 4 November 2020, updated 6 November 2020, date of the online event].



“From family to community, of the bond to the affective network: transforming the look into the intervention”, course by Pepa Horno on 16 October 2020 in Donostia / San Sebastián

Classroom and online course “From family to community, from the link to the affective network: transforming the look and the intervention” given by Pepa Horno and organized by glow.

Date: Friday, 16 October of 2020 the 09:30 a 13:30.

Place: Bastero Cultural Center
Ondarreta 18
Andoain (Gipuzkoa)

Face-to-face format for 30 people in order of registration and online.


[Original Entry 28 September 2020, updated 16 October 2020, date of the event].

“Raising to tribe, grow network”, Pepa Horno online conference organized by BBK Family on 29 September 2020

Videoconference “Raising to tribe, grow network: the affective network as the key to integrating uncertainty”, provided by Pepa Horno and organized by BBK Family.

Date: Tuesday, 29 September 2020, the 18:00 a 19:30 (Bilbao time).

Free entry online. To reserve a ticket sign up on the BBK Family website.

[Original Entry 15 September 2020, updated 1 October 2020, date of publication of the event online].

You can see the full conference in the following youtube video:

With “C” the “school”: creativity, community, awareness and warmth

Today I had the honor of participating in a virtual round table organized by the Early Childhood Education Advisors of the Cantabria Teachers' Centers. With the title “The return to the classrooms in Early Childhood Education: complementary looks”, we have gathered professionals in the field of pediatrics (Maria Jesus Cabero), The education (David Altimir), children's rights (Nacho guadix) and psychology (that have been assigned to me). It's been two hours that I've really enjoyed, seeing how the different perspectives are necessary to guarantee that the return of the boys and girls of Early Childhood Education return to the classrooms safely (not to education, because most have received continuous educational support from the teaching teams).

When we have been invited to close, three words have come to mind, that in the end there have been four. And all four start with “C”, as “school”.

Creativity. If the Early Childhood Education teams are characterized by something, it is their imagination, for their ability to create new resources that adapt, moment by moment to the needs of the children with whom they work. It's time to continue on this path even more: how to combine health security with emotional security, how to organize spaces and relationships, how to face the different challenges… That is why it is necessary to continue thinking and rethinking each measure, but alone is not enough, it will be essential to have the second element.

Community. Each person has our strengths and our strengths, and our professions too. So we will need to have different views, with the creativity of other points of view to tackle the challenges that lie ahead. In the case of Early Childhood Education, educational teams are already used to collaboration between teachers, and now it will be very practical to structurally incorporate other voices. On the one hand, families, which are always the first affective reference of boys and girls and that, also, have been co-facilitators of education and learning during confinement. On the other hand, other professional teams, from the fields of health and social services, but also from leisure and free time, or artistic activities. And you can't miss the boys and girls themselves. Participation is not just a right and one of the pillars of the Convention on the Rights of the Child. My professional experience (and personal) is that, when we ask children about the issues that affect them, they can give us much-needed visions and innovative and simple solutions at the same time. When we have all these looks, not only will we feel better with the accompaniment, but we will give more effective and satisfactory answers for all parties.

Consciousness. We are in a new time, living experiences for which we have no close references. In extraordinary situations we will see extraordinary reactions. Anger, fear or sadness will appear in boys and girls with very varied forms, and also within us. We need awareness to navigate them, and much of the work with children will consist of helping them to also learn to navigate with the accompaniment of adults who love and care for them.. (I leave some links to videos that we have prepared from Espirales Consultoría de Infancia for UNICEF Spain, on our three intelligences and how to use them to better manage rabies, the how to use them to better relate to our fears, or how to ask for help, soon). Knowing that there are going to be boys and girls who are going to return to the classrooms with fear in their hearts means that we have to use our utmost conscience to take care of the last element.

Warmth. The first ties in the lives of boys and girls are marked by warmth (or for lack of it), also with their teachers. This is well known by the Early Childhood Education educational teams, who find ways to make boys and girls feel accepted and loved in their schools. After all these months, and with the emotional cold that they can carry settled in their bodies, boys and girls are going to need all the warmth that their teachers can give them, combining creativity with health security. That must be one of the main objectives at all times., but now even more if possible.

I hope these ideas inspire you to find your own way of being with children, and adolescents.

With hope and awareness,

F. Javier Romeo

Videos made for SOS Children's Villages in the Latin America and Caribbean region: conscious affectivity in the emergency context

Today we present the materials that we have prepared for the SOS Children's Villages Regional Office in Latin America and the Caribbean to support the care leaders of the alternative care homes that the organization has in the region and the families of the communities where the organization develops its programs.

There are four videos, two for the care referents, people who take care of children, girls and adolescents in alternative care homes and the technical teams that are supporting them in their work. The videos have been included in the Virtual SOS online training platform of Aldeas Infantiles SOS to make them available to everyone for free, together with a series of training activities to expand its contents.

In the first two videos the concepts of conscious affectivity and safe and protective environments that we have already worked in the region, with the necessary adaptations for the context of emergency and isolation. One collects self-care guidelines for carers and the other a series of guidelines to generate safety for children, girls and adolescents in a context of uncertainty.

The other two videos address the same content but adapted to the families present in the communities where the organization has a presence through the national associations of the different countries of the region.. In this case, we use simple language and a tone of affective presence so that the content can be understood more easily.

And then there are four “webinars” (online seminars) engravings:

  • “How to provide security in uncertainty? Keys for intervention and minimum conditions”, taught by Pepa Horno.
  • “Positive Discipline in the context of the health emergency”, taught by Pepa Horno.
  • “Psychological First Aid in the health emergency”, given by F. Javier Romeo.
  • “Group dynamics and expression of emotions with children, and adolescents”, given by F. Javier Romeo.

We hope you find them useful.

A hug from the distance,

Pepa Horno and F. Javier Romeo


Now the videos are also subtitled in English, French and Portuguese. They can be accessed through the following links:

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